I try to hide these silent tears
Be strong they say, I say I am okay
Its a game we play
to hide my guilt
that somehow I am responsible for it all.
For that is also what they say when all is said and done.
I met a special angel yesterday, bruised but not broken.
A pure soul that no evil could darken even after having touched it.
Then I met her ordinary mother. There was nothing celestial about her. Every inch was pure human and pure strength. By her sweat, blood, tears and love, she had raised this angel that God himself had given her.
She believed that God, in his infinite wisdom had chosen her for he knew the loving capacity of her heart. So she gave that angel all the love and raised it on hope and faith alone.
Then there came a time when that love was tested. Her angel was touched by the evil of child sexual abuse.
As she looked at me with a tremulous smile, her eyes were desperate yet her face shone with determination. She wanted justice for her angel that God himself had given her. Her voice was trembling when she uttered her thanks to me for simply being there. Trying to hold it together, trying not to scream at the senseless forces that were determined to tear her family apart, yet equally determined to face that storm for the sake of her child. She began her story...
She had turned to the system to fight for justice armed with nothing but her love for her daughter thinking her fight was over.
Alas her fight just got harder.The system whose leaders were ready to help yet ill prepared and ill trained to fight this war.
Instead of smoothing her way to justice they threw her loops. But still ...
When they said jump she asked How High? When they said run she asked How Far?
She kept on going for she had no choice but to keep going, For if the system failed how would a mother's vengeance see the light of the day.
Then the media drums began to beat.
With every passing day they began to
get louder in trying to raise the alarm
against child abuse, but in their mad rush
to sensationalize the awareness the
drum beats began to change and drown out her voice for justice.
Yet she greeted every day with the single minded determination of a mother.
Her heart broke every time a friend, family or the system and its officers made a mistake or let her down by their incompetence and negligence, for her child and her had to pay for each one of them by revisiting that horror. Every one of their mistakes reminded her of how she had failed to protect her angel from the evil not realizing she was only human.
Ever passing day that she had to endure on the battlefield left deep bleeding cuts on her soul. Her human strength could not contain the fire that burned in her soul.
She cried silent tears when they questioned her commitment towards the needs of her special needs angel. Self doubt had begun to creep in. Her faith shook as she questioned God's faith in her ability to raise that special Angel.She punished herself for every mistake made by the ones promising to fight this war with her.
But she never gave up, for the mother in her knew that to get justice she would have to endure.
So she kept on fighting and She still continues to fight. She believes she will win but she also knows she will never be the same for the betrayal of her own country's system will leave deeper scars than the enemy's strikes.
So I ask...
When will we stop blundering around in so much incompetence that a mother fighting to get justice for her child feels like she lost even when she won? When will our good intentions stop paving her road to hell? When will our helping stop hurting the very mother we are trying to help.
No matter what she thinks I know she has not failed her angel, but we as a system have definitely failed her. We are the ones who have reduced a strong and loving mother to question her own faith.
Justice will be served for we are not a country stooped so low as yet, but the aftermath of that justice will leave in it wake the shattered remains of a mothers belief and hope.
A trail of destruction of the very victims that justice was supposed to serve.
In dedication to the mother of a special needs 13 yr old survivor of child sexual abuse.
Sunetra Palav
Founder
The Fight Back Club
Be strong they say, I say I am okay
Its a game we play
to hide my guilt
that somehow I am responsible for it all.
For that is also what they say when all is said and done.
I met a special angel yesterday, bruised but not broken. A pure soul that no evil could darken even after having touched it.
Then I met her ordinary mother. There was nothing celestial about her. Every inch was pure human and pure strength. By her sweat, blood, tears and love, she had raised this angel that God himself had given her.
She believed that God, in his infinite wisdom had chosen her for he knew the loving capacity of her heart. So she gave that angel all the love and raised it on hope and faith alone.
As she looked at me with a tremulous smile, her eyes were desperate yet her face shone with determination. She wanted justice for her angel that God himself had given her. Her voice was trembling when she uttered her thanks to me for simply being there. Trying to hold it together, trying not to scream at the senseless forces that were determined to tear her family apart, yet equally determined to face that storm for the sake of her child. She began her story...
She had turned to the system to fight for justice armed with nothing but her love for her daughter thinking her fight was over.
Alas her fight just got harder.The system whose leaders were ready to help yet ill prepared and ill trained to fight this war.
Instead of smoothing her way to justice they threw her loops. But still ...
When they said jump she asked How High? When they said run she asked How Far?
She kept on going for she had no choice but to keep going, For if the system failed how would a mother's vengeance see the light of the day.
Then the media drums began to beat. With every passing day they began to
get louder in trying to raise the alarm
against child abuse, but in their mad rush
to sensationalize the awareness the
drum beats began to change and drown out her voice for justice.
Yet she greeted every day with the single minded determination of a mother.
Her heart broke every time a friend, family or the system and its officers made a mistake or let her down by their incompetence and negligence, for her child and her had to pay for each one of them by revisiting that horror. Every one of their mistakes reminded her of how she had failed to protect her angel from the evil not realizing she was only human.
Ever passing day that she had to endure on the battlefield left deep bleeding cuts on her soul. Her human strength could not contain the fire that burned in her soul.
She cried silent tears when they questioned her commitment towards the needs of her special needs angel. Self doubt had begun to creep in. Her faith shook as she questioned God's faith in her ability to raise that special Angel.She punished herself for every mistake made by the ones promising to fight this war with her.
But she never gave up, for the mother in her knew that to get justice she would have to endure.
So she kept on fighting and She still continues to fight. She believes she will win but she also knows she will never be the same for the betrayal of her own country's system will leave deeper scars than the enemy's strikes.
So I ask...
When will we stop blundering around in so much incompetence that a mother fighting to get justice for her child feels like she lost even when she won? When will our good intentions stop paving her road to hell? When will our helping stop hurting the very mother we are trying to help.
No matter what she thinks I know she has not failed her angel, but we as a system have definitely failed her. We are the ones who have reduced a strong and loving mother to question her own faith.
Justice will be served for we are not a country stooped so low as yet, but the aftermath of that justice will leave in it wake the shattered remains of a mothers belief and hope.
A trail of destruction of the very victims that justice was supposed to serve.
In dedication to the mother of a special needs 13 yr old survivor of child sexual abuse.
Sunetra Palav
Founder
The Fight Back Club
Very well narrated. I know mother situation as i am of her family frn. I liked the way the words are droven.
ReplyDeleteThese words were the only way I had to make her realize how proud I am of her as a fellow mom and though the road is narrow and hard ...It will reach the heavens above. Do share so that everyone can know what a rare person of conviction she is..till she believes it herself after all the hatefulness she is going through
DeleteI wish atleast the lady officers were as sensitive as you
ReplyDelete